5 Questions To Help You Use Failure to Your Advantage

As I sat waiting in the coffee shop, I was overflowing with anxiety and emotion. Tears brimmed from my eyes and I was shaking like a leaf... Yet underneath the surface I had accepted what I needed to do. Now I had to follow through on that and say the words out loud.

It was about to become one of my life's greatest defining moments. 

I knew that by saying the words out loud I was giving them form, making them real and that through uttering them I would open Pandora’s box… And deep down I had a knowing that my career and professional life as I knew it would be forever changed - but I had no idea what that would look like. 

So I waited for my boss to arrive and steadied myself to bring my failure full circle and admit defeat.

It was a HUGE admission.

I had spent all my energy holding things together for soooooo long to AVOID failure and now I was about to agree with all my critics - that indeed I wasn’t up to the job I had been entrusted with and I could no longer find a way to keep trying. 

The words themselves were simple - 

‘‘I need a break and it’s not a 2 week holiday’ 

Who knew they would be some of the most vulnerable and courageous words I have uttered - the sentence seems so simple, so benign. It’s a sentence that could so easily be uttered over a coffee when catching up with a friend and be light enough to float away on the breeze without any impact or any real meaning. It’s a classic ‘throwaway phrase’ right?

That day was the end of life as I knew it and the beginning of me becoming the woman I am today - deeply, wildly and imperfectly authentic with as many failures under my belt as successes - with the ability to feel the same level of pride in my failures as my successes, which has been HUGE for me to accomplish.  

So what did I open myself up to learn that day? 

When you welcome failure and hardship in your pursuit of growth and more success, it is inevitable you will become more successful over the long term with more ease

It’s not just my opinion - it's also something that has been proven through extensive research. (You can check out The High Performance Institute for an abundance of research on this - it's the organisation I gained my coaching certification from in 2015) 

People who are more successful over the long term EXPECT to be challenged and to hit hard times in their journey. They understand and have a reverence for the inevitable struggle that is part of the deal you make when you aim for success and reach new levels. 

They are also willing to take a stand for themselves and their own needs - something most of my clients have to work hard at finding comfort with, as so many of us are so busy focusing on everyone else's needs we don’t have any energy or focus left for our own.

Feel familiar? 

I’ve only recently just begun to fully talk about how my biggest failure propelled me to where I am today. It’s taken 5 years of understanding, learning, analysing, accepting and forgiving myself and others to feel able to talk about it openly and share the wisdom that was uncovered through the process.  

In fact, I have uncovered different layers of insight by being willing to continue to gently lean into the memories and see the situation from different angles. 

Maybe you have some un-mined wisdom residing in you that is longing to be surfaced? 

If so read on - but be warned, these questions will help you through a process of self-inquiry that is only to be undertaken if you are ready for radical revelations and discovering the secrets to sustained success. 

Take some time out to relax and become ‘unavailable’ for the best results. 

What failure have you experienced that still has a sting in it? Describe it in your words today.

With the benefit of hindsight and reflection, what advantages did you gain from that failure?

What can you learn from that experience which you can apply in your life or use to your advantage? 

Where can you apply that insight now to your benefit - what situation or live issue would be improved by you changing your approach? 

What action are you committing to take? When, How?

So what did you uncover? I'd love you to share with us in the comments below.

I'd also love to invite you to participate in my brand new mini-course 'How to Use Your Fears To Your Advantage and Create Unshakeable Self Belief' 

Click Here To Sign Up

It's completely FREE and already 55 of you are participating and supporting each other in community. 

It's your time so schedule out some time for the next 10 days and get started.

I can't wait to see you there! 

Mel x