Are you one of the few of committed individuals who see their New Years' Resolutions through?
Would you like know the key to creating life changing habits and making them stick long enough for you to see the change?
With only about 2% of people who make resolutions seeing them through - and an estimated 80% of people having completely abandoned theirs by February - I thought I'd take this time to encourage you to make a New Year Evolution Commitment and forget the same old tired Resolutions which are doomed to fail as soon as that brief burst of motivation wanes and life takes over.
First a recap - last week we talked about Becoming Wildly Authentic. Thank you for sharing how much that message resonates with you! It's my passion and mission to help you know exactly what steps you can take to create whatever changes you dream of in your life through being you with brilliance, skill and insight :-)
The coaching tool I shared 'Why Success Doesn't Have to Mean Working Harder.' Five Steps to Create a More Authentic Life. will help you do exactly that!
This week we are going to get topical. It's that time of year when everybody's thinking about next year and the notorious New Years Resolutions. You know the ones you set full of conviction and energy that you can't remember by the time it hits February!
In this week's Real Talk With Mel, we need to talk about Evolution, NOT Resolution.
I want to start by really encouraging you to take time to work out exactly what you can do differently to make 2019 the best it possibly can be. So here are my top tips for successful transformation and an evolutionary new year!
1) Move forward by looking back. One of the most important things we can do when we want to create successful change, is to review and evaluate where we're at right now. This is how we start to gain a deep sense of Clarity about where we are and it provides us with the foundations to create change successfully.
Where are you in life? What's brought you to this place?
What has led you to be successful in getting to where you are?
What has held you back from getting to where you want to be?
What's worked for you? What's not worked?
What are the habits that will help you to change? (More on this below)
2) Fully commit to be in this for the long term. Real change rarely happens overnight - it's about starting small and creating new habits while building on existing routines - that's one of the secrets to being successful. And it takes commitment, follow through and re-commitment. Over and over again.
Change happens not only when you write down your goals or participate in a great coaching tool process (!) - change happens in the positive choices you make during the daily grind, those split second moments when you honour your intentions and choose long-term success over short-term gratification; do I get out of bed 30 mins early to meditate and exercise like I promised myself I would while the rest of the house is still sleeping, or do I hit the snooze button another 3 times and waste that precious half hour?
Do I say no to that invitation to go out for a drink after work to follow through on my commitment to attend that new class at the gym?
Do I spend Sunday afternoon doing my food prep to make healthy choices easier all week, or lie on the sofa eating popcorn while bingeing on Netflix instead?
Because when you make a commitment, and combine it with a sense of clarity about where you want to go and what you want to achieve, you start to get clear on the actions you need to take which will lead to success. And you want the right actions to lead to... New Habits that align with who you want to become - NOT who you used to be.
3) Make habit-forming a habit. And 'habit' is the most important word, because successful change and evolution comes from what you do on a day by day basis and the small changes you apply consistently.
What are the routines that you need to put in place, which will lead to you developing the right habits?
What do you want more of in your life? What do you want less of?
What actions do you need to take to support you with that?
To help you answer these questions and offer practical support and advice, I'm sharing another coaching tool, 'Evolution, not Resolution: Seven Steps to Successful Change in 2019'.
Habit change is an Evolution. When done well, it's a process of continuous, small, incremental improvements which build momentum over time until you feel so good about the habit and its' compounded rewards that you NEED to keep the train of momentum running.
Start by committing to schedule time out for yourself to develop your skills and gain a deeper insight to who you are becoming - the complimentary coaching resources I share are tools designed to help you achieve this. But it's not enough to print them off, or have a look. You need to invest your time and energy and follow through on your actions.
Another great action to invest in yourself is to schedule time each week to read and expand your knowledge. There are two brilliant books that have come out quite recently I want to share which will really aid your success. These guys have put the time, dedication and research in to understand what makes change successful and how to make it stick - and they both agree - It's ALL about HABITS.
The first is High Performance Habits. This was written by my mentor, and the wonderful guy who trained me to be the coach that I am three years ago - Brendon Burchard. Brendon is the leader of the High Performance Institute and the most successful High Performance Coach and Trainer in the world right now. This book is full of research based strategies, tools and techniques, that you can use and apply to help you really create a change in your life. This is also the stuff that I coach people on - its powerful and life changing and if you are ready to commit, it provides you with the exact steps and strategies to follow to live your life in a more joyful, meaningful and successful way.
The next is Atomic Habits, by James Clear. I've been reading his blog for a couple of years now, and this is an amazing book. It really breaks down exactly what you need to do to create successful change and form new habits.
If I could summarise 2 of the keys points from both of these resources into 2 key processes -
Get clear, in writing, on the exact steps that you need to take, and the exact time and place you will take them. It's the tiny steps that help you stay committed and clear - ambiguity never helps you make the right choice when you are in need of resolve and follow through.
Rewrite your stories for success. You have a strong sense of self and identity - at a subconscious level - which you have spent your whole life developing. Successful habit change comes when the actions you take match the stories you hold about yourself. How might you sabotage yourself with the stories you hold about yourself? And, how do you need to rewrite them, to help your new habits to stick and ultimately be successful.
To truly evolve into the best version of yourself means continually updating and reinforcing your identity and the beliefs you hold about yourself. When you find yourself being tempted by a previous habit that did not serve the old you, stop and ask yourself what your new identity would so in this situation.
So starting now - set your intentions, do not procrastinate, and don't wait until new year because the sooner you commit to change the sooner you will reap the benefits!
And either of the 2 books mentioned, combined with our tool Evolution Not Resolution, are a great starting point to make 2019 one of the best yet!
I'd love to hear your questions and your views. How do you successfully change? Do you have any top tips for creating evolution?
You'll hear from me again next week, in next week's Real Talk With Mel.
Until then, I'd love you to share this with anyone who may benefit.
To your success and your authenticity,
Love, Mel x